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Well, let's get down to business with this Bearcat Bracketology. 

First off, does UC offer a degree in bracketology?

If they did, I'm thinking that might become the latest "stylish" major, much like sports administration or broadcasting (for attractive young women aspiring to be the next girl on the sidelines that get's to say, "Back to you guys!")

One day Joe Lunardi is just another guy from the east purporting to know basketball and repeating the word "TOUR-nament". Next thing you know, the St. Joseph's color commentator is a household name.

Such is the "World Wide Leader".

Lacking my B.S. in Bracketology (but not lacking in b.s.) let's take a look at UC's potential tournament run....

Game #1: it's UC against Missouri in Washington D.C. Let's see, UC's fared well against Georgetown this season and Mick Cronin should be familiar with coach Mike Anderson's style from Anderson's UAB days. Bearcats show the folks from the "Show Me" state the door.,

Game #2:  Connecticut beats Bucknell, setting up Cronin and Jim Calhoun again to trade barbs over Kemba Walker. The Huskies made an incredible five for five run in the Big East tournament. The break in between the Bucknell win will throw them off and UC wins (as they should have at Fifth Third Arena).

Game #3:  UC goes to Anaheim again for the Sweet 16.  I was there last time when the Bearcats had Stanford on the ropes, but couldn't hang on to advance.  This time they face San Diego State who assumably would have an advantage in California. The Aztecs are coached by Steve Fisher.  Cronin starts telling the guys how Fisher coached the Fab Five from Michigan who were illegally recruited and had their records wiped away.  However, they beat UC in the Final Four and ESPN made a special about them.  Bearcats exact revenge on Steve Fisher in the name Terry Nelson.

Game #4: The Elite Eight naturally includes Duke, much to the delight of Dick "Duke" Vitale who has now predicted a Blue Devil blowout of the Bearcats. However, Mick Cronin keeps replaying Ryan Fletcher's "touchdown" pass to Kenyon Martin who redirects it to Melvin Levett for the slam and the win in Alaska.  Duke goes cold like the Eskimos and the Bearcats are going to Houston.

Game #5: Also reaching Houston is Syracuse who has beaten Ohio State.  In an act of frustration, the Buckeyes were told they couldn't play UC when the Bearcats had a competitive team, so OSU gives a half-hearted effort and falls to the Orange.  Thad Matta was so distracted after finding out Connor Barwin wouldn't be guarding his big men this time around, that he couldn't focus on the Syracuse game plan.  Meantime, Jim Boeheim (in an act that will be questioned from here on out at the local Dinosaur Barbecue) decides to scrap the vaunted 'Cuse zone to play UC man-to-man.  Bearcats run the floor and crush the Orange to make the title game.

Game #6: In the other semi, Kansas gets by Pitt as the Panthers are completely taken back by coach Jamie Dixon's decision to get a crewcut prior to the semi.  Bill Self and the Jayhawks taunt Dixon and the Panthers and at the end, the "Rock Chalk Crewcut" chant is started.  However, Mick Cronin has reminded UC of how Bill Self's Tulsa squad knocked the Bearcats out in round two a number of years back.  It was a cheap win as that was the year Kenyon Martin broke his leg in the conference tournament.  In honor of the B.A.Y.B. tattoo,
Yancy Gates puts on a performance reminiscent of K-Mart against DePaul from years ago.
Gates can't miss against Kansas, UC wins the title, and thousands of fans who booed Gates at home rush out to Dick's to buy #34 jerseys for their children that have been hurriedly thrown on the shelves.

Got all that?

O.K., snap out of it now and take your bracket in to work tomorrow.
mad men old woman.jpg
(Courtesy AMC's "Mad Men")

Find the most unconnected, quiet, kind older woman on staff and hand it to her.  Have her fill it out and give her five bucks for her trouble.

It'll be worth it as she probably has a better chance of knowing who wins than you or any other fan.

There ARE no experts this time of year.

Know anyone that had Butler in the final?

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